It is all and well if they were to act as a real watchdog over unscrupulous companies that do not bother to keep to the health guidelines set by our government or better, by the World Health Organisation. However, I have found that they tend to get their facts wrong and yes, they too tend to be biased. They will raise a furore just because they wanted to.

Take the call for a ban of handphones back in May. They based that on some obscure research which did not even prove a direct link between handphone use and cancer while there are numerous other research which proved that there were no direct link between handphone use and cancer. I even wrote about it here.

Then recently there is this complaint that PBA has been using bleach to clean the dam but it turned out that they were using some cleaning agent and it was not the dam, just the side walls where the scuds flow down a drain and NOT into the dam. This means that they had once again got their facts wrong.

NGOs like this should not be raising panic amongst the people with their sensational press conferences (which will be splashed across all newspapers). They should at least get their facts right and CHECK with the people they are complaining against first. Only when they had gathered enough evidence and with an unfavourable response from ‘perpetrator’ then they should publicise their so-called ‘breaking’ news.

If all CAP ever do is just to complain over this and that, like a naggy, grumpy old grandma, then it is not really representing consumers because aren’t they suppose to help consumers by giving them solutions too? What’s the point of complaining no end when they do not even try to find a solution for consumers?

Might as well change their name to Complaining Association of Penang.

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Okay, not only some people. A LOT of people are so stupid. And kiasu. And brainless. And obviously senseless. Not to mention moronic and idiotic.

The ever great Prime Minister announced an increase in petrol price yesterday so what do most people do?

They make a beeline to the petrol stations, causing massive jams everywhere.

Me, I just want to get home early but no thanks to all those idiots clamouring to pump petrol at the RM1.92 rate, I got stuck for two hours in traffic to travel a short distance from my son’s babysitter’s house to my apartment.

A journey which normally took me 15 minutes turned into TWO blardy hours of crawling along millions of cars driven by countless other idiots intend on converging on any petrol station they spotted.

Some of them are so stupid that they queued up till 4am!!

Picture courtesy of BlurChu?

See, I was justified to call them stupid idiots. Not bad enough jamming all the roads, some more so stupid to wait till 4am. Gila these people!

If they really do some serious calculations, they will find that they probably wasted more time, money, petrol and energy queuing up for hours just to pump petrol at RM1.92 than the money they seemed to think they had saved by doing this.

Just think lar.

Start of journey: Petrol at half tank
Time started: 5pm

During journey: Petrol down to nearing E
Time: 8pm

At Petrol station: Fill up to full tank
Time: 9pm

Journey back: Petrol plunging down to slightly below full tank
Time: 10pm

Reached home: Petrol is down to only three quarters of the tank
Time: 11pm.

So, just to ’save’ say RM10 or RM15, SIX hours was wasted inching along the traffic jam AND more than half tank of petrol was wasted. I seriously do not see how that could save them money.

It all goes back to the same thing because they burnt up more petrol in the queues and jams than putting it in!

Grrrr….some people. Stupid never mind lar but some more caused so much inconvenience to others.

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The jam, as we can see, is due to the roadworks along about 300m stretch. It is the upgrading works initiated by the former tourism exco, Teng Chang Yeow. Luckily, the funding was already released so it won’t be another ‘abandoned’ project but I do hope it completes really fast.

It’s making life difficult for me especially when I always use the road to go to Komtar for official business! So, to those of you who had to use the road (for whatever reason) good luck and enjoy the horrible jam!

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Penangites beware! (No, I am not trying to scare you about imminent bloodshed but more to warn you to stay away to avoid the possible congestion it would cause)

Thursday may be a public holiday (Maulidur Rasul) but this does not mean clear roads with no traffic because it seems the Umno fellas (shall we from now onwards call them Umnobodoh?!?) are intent on organising another demonstration on that day. Or so it was said through widespread circulation of SMSes which the police have claimed to be ‘just rumours’.

And there I go thinking Maulidur Rasul or the Nabi Muhammad’s birthday is a holy day. I don’t know about them but I think they are insulting their very own Prophet by planning political protests on such a holy day.

I mean political protests for personal interest is definitely unholy in every sense of the word. All for what? Just because they are sore losers and could not face the fact that they have lost. They are no longer the blardy state government so swallow the fact and deal with it already!

Okay, so I may be a bit harsh here. Those poor fellas are, after all, fighting for their rice bowl….since NEP only do benefit Umno amongst all the bumiputras in the state. They are losing a substantial amount of income due to this new open tender policy and thus, the demonstrations.

So, it is quite understandable for them to be so riled up upon seeing their whole cake being taken away from right under their noses and being distributed to all and sundry.

Anyway, from all the rumours flying around and SMSes on the upcoming demonstration this Thursday, it seemed the Umnoputras/ bodohs (whichever you want to call them) plan to march from the state mosque to the governor’s house to hand over a memorandum to the governor.

It seemed kind of strange that they carried out the demo last week without handing over any memorandum (probably due to inexperience as an Opposition party now…) and now they plan another demo to hand over a demo to the governor and not the state government. Why give it to the governor when their grievances are against the state government’s policy?

The Chief Minister Lim Guan Eng has even said that if they do go ahead with the demonstration by misusing the police permit for the Maulidur Rasul parade, then ‘the authorities will know what to do‘. I don’t know about LGE, but methinks the authorities will just do what they did last Friday…stand there, stare, act all important and spring into action when the crowd has dispersed.

Hmm…we shall see if the rumour turned out to be true or not this Thursday.

After all, the has-been, former deputy chief minister, Datuk Abdul Rashid Abdullah did promise to ‘hold another bigger demonstration if the state government still refuse to budge from its policy of not using the NEP’ and his (or is it Umno?) threat to ‘bring down the state government no matter what’. He loudly and clearly announced this last Friday during the demonstration. So based on his ‘promise’ and ‘threats’, I wouldn’t put it past them idiots to make use of the readily available police permit for the holy parade to turn it into something ugly and unholy.

But if they do chicken out and leave the parade alone, then kudos to them. It could only mean that some of their almost inexistent brain cells are starting to work.

In case you think I am spreading those rumours by posting this entry, my reply is that it is better to be prepared than to be sorry. When it comes to all things politics (especially when it involved sore losers), nothing is predictable nor is it impossible.

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1. A traffic jam caused by an accident on the other side of the road – meaning, there’s been a minor accident on the opposite side but all the busybodies on this side of the road just had to slow down or even stop to stare at the wreckage.

2. There are no such things as signal lights – please bear in mind, drivers will turn wherever they want to, whenever they feel like, however they want to do it without any signals.

3. Motorcyclists owned the roads – they weave in and out of traffic and regardless of whether you use your signal or not, they will always cut in front of you or if you are turning right, they will squeeze past your right and if you are turning left, they will squeeze past your left to go straight. If you are going straight, they will cut in front of you to turn left or right. Otherwise, they ride in the middle of the road at 30kph and refused to let you pass.

4. Most of the drivers keep right – perhaps they are confused and thought they should be keeping right but you will find most Penang drivers taking the lane on the right at the speed of 40kph while the lane on the left is mostly empty. They also overtake cars using the left lane, not the right ones.

5. The emergency lanes and left lanes are for shortcuts and to cut queues – there is no such thing as waiting in line in any event of a traffic jam. That’s what the emergency lanes are for, to use to cut into the long queue to get ahead faster.

6. Yellow means speed up while green means slow down – drivers will be driving at a crawl of 40kph when the light is green but the moment it turns yellow, they will step on the pedal and speed through the lights. This is the same with those numbered traffic lights, the higher the numbers (99, 80, 70…) means slow while the lower the number (5, 4, 3, 2…) means speed till you cross the lights.

7. Zebra crossing and pedestrian crossings are just there for decoration purposes – don’t even think of using these to cross the road because drivers will speed past these without slowing down and if anyone dared to step foot on these, they will get blaring horns, some inappropriate hand signals and angry glares.

8. When an ambulance comes, it means you make way and then follow – drivers will make way by slowing down and some even stopping but the moment the ambulance passed them, they will speed up and follow its wake especially in times when traffic is heavy so that they could cut queue even more efficiently.

9. The whole of Penang island is a big huge parking lot – there is not a single space that drivers won’t park their car as long as the curb is not too high and they could drive up it. It could be a single lane road, a busy junction or anywhere at all, as long as they think it is convenient to them, it is a good parking place.

10. They drive at 40kph during peak hours and 100kph during off peak hours – regardless of whether there is a traffic jam or not, if it is 8.45am on a weekday and you are in a hurry to reach the office, you will find some auntie or uncle going on a leisurely drive cruising down the road and hogging it at 35kph while at the same time refusing to let you overtake their cars. However, if it is 11pm at night where most roads are pitch black, you will find some youngsters taking to the roads thinking they are the next Schumachers.

So, there, 10 top tips to arm yourselves with if you ever drive up to Penang for a short trip.

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